Home vodka, salo and speeches

Svetlana and family, Velika Krucha, Ukraine
Originally uploaded by rtw2007.

During Rich’s visit we had been far too sociable and had drunk far too much, so we planned a quiet, alcohol-free night catching up on journals and reading the paper. We arrived in the small village of Velika Krucha nice and early, where we sat reading whilst overlooking the river. All very civilised. Until a group of four school boys turned up and nervously approached so that they could practice their English on us. In fact, their English was impeccable and they were very bright, so we had an interesting conversation with them about school and life in Ukraine. They eventually left, but soon after we had returned to our journals, it emerged that word had spread in the village about the arrival of the English people. Two more groups of kids turned up, this time with much more limited English – though they did know enough to pronounce that “Big Ben is Cool”. They were intent on giggling loudly and excitedly; talking about English and American music; showing us how to text in Cyrillic; playing us every tune available on their phones; and taking lots of photos.

At this point, Michael escaped for a tactical trip to the toilet, during which time I was collared by the indomitable Svetlana, who appeared to be a bit of a local celebrity. She spoke no English bar the words “home vodka” and very kindly invited us back to her house to sample said vodka. We nervously agreed and found ourselves walking the mile or so up the road, accompanied by Svetlana; her 17 year old daughter Tania (who thankfully spoke some English); and Tania’s boyfriend.

Upon arrival at the house, we also met Svetlana’s husband Nikolai and 15 year old son Sascha, who both seemed entirely unperturbed by the fact that complete strangers had turned up on their doorstep. They were all very welcoming and very excited to have English people in the village, which appeared to be a first. We were directed to the living room, where we were proudly shown Sascha’s running medals and the wedding photos of daughter number two, whilst Svetlana disappeared to prepare a huge Ukrainian feast for everyone.

What followed was a slightly surreal evening. We feasted on Ukrainian borscht; salo (slices of pure pig fat – a Ukrainian delicacy which seems to be very popular around here); tomato salad; and garlic bread. This was all accompanied by numerous shots of home brewed vodka, which in turn were washed down with home brewed beer. There was lots of chat (or at least as much chat as you can have when only one out of five people speaks any of the same language as you) about Dynamo Kyiv and life in the village (where temperatures are apparently not all that cold, although Svetlana’s daughter got married in January last year in minus 27 degrees - we thought that was fairly cold, but apparently she wore a shawl, so that’s OK). Svetlana and Nikolai also sang a traditional Ukrainian song together, whilst we sat in bewilderment, quite unsure how to react. They are obviously very proud people: proud of their children; their village; their traditions; and Ukraine. There were lots of toasts, mainly to “beloved Ukrania” and the like.

After a few too many rounds of home vodka, Svetlana insisted on getting out the video camera so that Michael could say something in English. Sascha filmed a rather tipsy Michael giving his thanks for the family’s hospitality. We were then presented with leaving gifs, namely a hand-sewn picture of a Ukrainian sunflower field and a Cossack money box pig, which appeared to have been taken off the family side-board (and which still contained the children’s pocket money). Our protests that gifts were unnecessary fell on deaf ears, so we left (still slightly bewildered) having had a very enjoyable night and now with a Cossack pig in tow.